Someone could take a picture of me right now, or many pictures of me throughout a day. They would be like those you find in advertisements – showing a nice lady lounging on a sofa with a cocktail and a book, a lady having breakfast at a hotel, a lady walking down a street with her hair blowing in the wind, (a friend of mine – Janis – just sat beside me) a couple enjoying the first days at their new apartment… Whatever these pictures, I never associated them with me. I always used to think, see, how happy other people look, they must have great jobs, cool friends, huge apartments and Jaguar cars.
Today I walked to a shop to buy some chicken, fruits and vegetables. It’s ages since I’ve cooked at home, but when I’m in Ventspils, I like to do it. As I was walking I noticed a woman and her child approaching. I paid no attention, I was deep in my own thoughts (I saw a reflection of me in a window and was wondering about my looks). I would have passed them if a woman had not addressed me „Čau, Silga!“ I was ashamed; it was my teacher with her child. We exchanged a couple of how-are-yous and just as we split our ways, she said „ you look very happy and satisfied“. At this point I realised – it can be me in those glamorous advertisements you see in many saloons, magazines, and on posters. Why do I realise it just when a person tells me this? Open your eyes, Silga!
Lately I was given a tough moral*. It was like an unexpected slap on my face or dirty rainwater splashed by a passing car (got one shower today).
We all know we’re living in a material and superficial world. Many of us choose friends who are popular, successful, rich, or good-looking. As if they could automatically make us alike them. Those who choose to travel as backpackers, are seen as weird people (in the best case – adventurers); while those having white or wooden yachts and priority class membership with airline companies – the right and real people.
As the surrounding mercantile environment is indeed powerful, I struggle not to associate and compare myself with those glamorously well-offs. I surely need to reschedule my value system from time to time.
But let me return to the moral I got. It tells that each of us has its own way in our life (how we work, live, make a family etc.) and the shell we see from outside may be very different from that we imagine and seem to think be existent in reality. We hardly know what lies behind and we might envy and admire just what’s not worth it at all.
I think I managed to open my eyes, but it must be an everlasting process. The activity which needs to be practiced each and every day until it’s well grounded in your mind and soul, until you stop comparing yourself with others.
* Thank you, Franck.
Today I walked to a shop to buy some chicken, fruits and vegetables. It’s ages since I’ve cooked at home, but when I’m in Ventspils, I like to do it. As I was walking I noticed a woman and her child approaching. I paid no attention, I was deep in my own thoughts (I saw a reflection of me in a window and was wondering about my looks). I would have passed them if a woman had not addressed me „Čau, Silga!“ I was ashamed; it was my teacher with her child. We exchanged a couple of how-are-yous and just as we split our ways, she said „ you look very happy and satisfied“. At this point I realised – it can be me in those glamorous advertisements you see in many saloons, magazines, and on posters. Why do I realise it just when a person tells me this? Open your eyes, Silga!
Lately I was given a tough moral*. It was like an unexpected slap on my face or dirty rainwater splashed by a passing car (got one shower today).
We all know we’re living in a material and superficial world. Many of us choose friends who are popular, successful, rich, or good-looking. As if they could automatically make us alike them. Those who choose to travel as backpackers, are seen as weird people (in the best case – adventurers); while those having white or wooden yachts and priority class membership with airline companies – the right and real people.
As the surrounding mercantile environment is indeed powerful, I struggle not to associate and compare myself with those glamorously well-offs. I surely need to reschedule my value system from time to time.
But let me return to the moral I got. It tells that each of us has its own way in our life (how we work, live, make a family etc.) and the shell we see from outside may be very different from that we imagine and seem to think be existent in reality. We hardly know what lies behind and we might envy and admire just what’s not worth it at all.
I think I managed to open my eyes, but it must be an everlasting process. The activity which needs to be practiced each and every day until it’s well grounded in your mind and soul, until you stop comparing yourself with others.
* Thank you, Franck.
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