Wise men say that problems should not be kept within you; instead one should talk to people, jot those concerns down on a piece of paper, and ideas and solutions will eventually come.
Well, I’ve been staring at a white sheet of paper for a couple of days now. I force myself to write something, but this struggle seems to be stuck. The sheet stays blank.
To a friendly question “how are you”, I feel reluctant to give “I’m fine”. I have talked to people, have been encouraged by them, but the solutions are still hiding.
I knew that it’s going to happen one day, and was morally ready for that. But reality is harsh. If there is just one problem it’s always easier to deal with it, for you concentrate all the energy to that single item-to-be-dealt-with, but I have two BIG problems, both verging on a rim of how-to-live-tomorrow.
Last weekend my landlady gave me the notice of termination. You might think, what’s the big deal, find another flat and live in peace! But such a reply would be superficial. I’d presume you are not aware of the situation of tenants in Riga, and I wouldn’t blame you for that. I joke about having two options – driving (no, no, taking a bus!) from Talsi (~110 km) or Ventspils (~180 km) every day, or moving to these towns and working there. I prey God I am not forced to do that. I moved to Riga only two years ago…
The other thing occupying my mind for 24 hours is JOB. Job which brings satisfaction and development. It’s not easy to find one which suits my needs, education, and experience. Though I managed to find three posts I wanted to apply. Now the picture is clear: one refusal (received it yesterday), one invitation for an interview (received it today), and one big question mark: either an offer for the second test or "thank-you-for-applying-but-you-do-not-correspond-to-our-requirements".
Some of my friends came up with an idea, which, to their mind, could solve my problems. Getting a wealthy husband. Do you really think that when marrying a well-off man, your problems are automatically solved and a woman is happy?
Sometimes I wish I was born a boy. And this “sometimes” is striking me more and more often. I think it’s just easier to be a man in this world.
2 comments:
Silga,
Here is my weird view of this. I think you are fortunate to have these problems. I think they are stressful and for that I am sorry. But challenges in life are what make life exciting. If you are pushed into events and situations that you may never thought about exploring then you are experiencing new ideas and challenges that only make you stronger.
I sometimes wish I was less tied to my daily life and more free like yourself. It can be boring to have the same challenges every day.
Jay,
your view could be classified as the "changed attitude", for nothing in this world is black or white, it's just how we perceive and address things.
I admit my situation is not hopeless, it's very challenging, and with every advice from my friends I become stronger and ready to face the misfortunes which tend to crop up.
I will let you know how it goes. I think the picture is pretty much clear already next week.
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